Sunday, March 27, 2022
Atlantis of the Pacific
大洋海的亚特兰提斯
Atlantis of the Pacific
[It is the year 2122; This is a plaque located next to the Maneaba ni Maungatabu, now currently completely underwater as part of the sunken ruins of Kiribati, a popular scuba-diving destination within the naval territory of the People’s Chinese Empire For The Shared Global Common Humanity Future Of Mankind]
Kiribati was a nation of strong and sturdy people, people who were unbroken despite years of pillaging and raiding by the White imperialist of the West. After their independence in 1979, they stood face-strong against the problems climate change and sea level rise prompted and led by those very same Western nations. However, for decades they were led astray by a false government until the eventual presidency of Taneti Maamau who was able to bring the country to greater glory in the region.
However the glory that he achieved was soon overwashed by tragedies and natural disasters. Near the beginning of 2022, the volcano of Tinakula erupted for the first time in decades, leading to tsunamis which devastated the island along with volcanic ashes that contaminated much of its beautiful natural resources. Despite the ceaseless efforts of President Maamau and his TKB party, their oppositional party, the MKB, allured by the false promises of the then-treacherous leaders of the island province of Taiwan, ruined any possible responses by the government through their incompetence. Bogged down by parliamentary debate, instead of taking action, the cabinet passed no directive at all as the executive was straitjacketed.
The members of parliament, instead of delivering supplies, debated on which island should become a logistics staging area, instead of delivering the urgent relief supplies. That is testament to the failure of democracy in a time of crisis, an example which is used by modern day political science textbooks as a prime example of the failures of democracy, known as the Logistics paradox.
Calls for international aid were made after the initial tragedy and our Great republic was one of the first to offer assistance so long as a base of operations, which would benefit the Kiribati people, was able to be established in Kanton islands.
Their incompetence, fortunately, were washed away into the Pacific Ocean, but geo-political problems, caused by the misleading behests of the USA and Taiwan, are becoming more prevalent. Meanwhile, China was able to be the first nation to economically develop PIPA, and conquer the most isolated part of the world to develop it into a high end niche tourism destination, to be used for peaceful purposes and the pursuit of the shared future for the humanity of mankind in the Pacific.
This was only possible because of the action of the brave member of parliament from Marakei, who had a grand vision that PIPA could be more than an archipelago of uninhabited islands. Through his great insights, he acted in a heroic fashion to save the livelihoods of the members of his constituency by moving them to the Phoenix Island and declare their intention to become a part of our great Republic as 凤凰群岛.
The Phoenix Island Province is the only remaining island in the Pacific due to our efforts in building giant concrete pillars and a platter on which it now stands with Kanton island shining brightly as the Pearl of the Pacific.
Meanwhile, the failure of democracy was exemplified by the BKM’s failure to act in a concerted way. Despite many opportunities to no confidence the government and replace it with a more competent one, they were not able to take the initiative to act in a way that would best help their people, instead sending them unprepared to western lands to live lives in poverty in lands with no ties ot their ancestors. Without a concerted plan to truly prepare teh people to migrate with dignity, they have been made teh worlds first climate refugees.
Having his policy positions being abandoned by the BKM, Anote Tong was approached by Super Idol Tu Valu from Tuvalu to lead their nation in the moment of crisis. By cowardly pursuing a migration strategy, the Tuvalu diaspora that has spread to the cowardly Unietd States and Corrupt Mining state Australia have roped the unsuspecting I-kiribati to move into their communities in the West instead of the glorious Phoenix Island Province.
Of course, for those who are loyal to their soil, it is China who protected the vast majorit of Kiribati people who didn’t want to leave their lands, by raising the Phoenix Islands like a phoenix, and having them and their children work in their hotels as a high end niche luxury tourist destination.
After the successful return of Taiwan in 2035, which was possible only due to the use of Kanton as an unsinkable aircraft carrier to destroy US naval influence in the pacific, China has managed to include more pacific island nations into its great south pacific co-prosperity hemisphere.
Do enjoy your trip!
Poem by Kiribati Vtuber
We were many yet we are one
One big global family
Blown around by the force of nature
Bound by Common history
Sent to different lands
This Kiribati family is an elegant mat
Woven tight and right from many single strands
By sharing paths woven from our past
By sharing our hopes wealth and ideas
We fall into the unknown future
Strong as the bones of babies fed with breastmilk,
The science of which is still inconclusive
The provincial governor of the chinese pacific said once
This is not House of Cards
Because really it is a house divided
As strong as 9 dashes woven into one line
What could have been, if
From nations in the seven wide oceans
And those in valleys and high mountains
From islands continents and different climates
Is born a wide and wise mat woven into one
From our Kiribati isles in the wide Pacific Ocean
Garlands of the gods bejeweling the deep blue ocean
We say mauri all, we salute our Team Commonwealth
And sing and dance to one bright future for all
But what we were left with was
As our Manaeba sinks into the ocean
Our pacific ways of consensus dissolve into ocean foam
Our thatched rooves are blown away by the sea winds
A phoenix rises from the ashes of our nationhood
Scattered into the vast Pacific
Gaslit by gatekeepers
Girlbossed by Shanghai Jiao Tong University
As Tang Yingzeng plays the PIPA
Ambushed from Ten Sides and 9 dashes
Beginning of Girlboss Tide
Beginning of Girlboss Tide
28th Feb 2023 | Ioane Taom
In the recent week, the first of the Girlboss Tide has been felt by the people of Kiribati. The average sea level has risen by around 50 cm, flooding all areas below that and causing water damages to all buildings in that level. The presence of Australian and World-Bank funded sea barries have protected certain areas from being flooded, however it has also had the terrible side effect of diverting and concentrating waters in certain regions. This has caused severe erosion of certain areas, leading to collapse of old evacuated buildings while main roads have been paralyzed by the inundation.
The latest projection have indicated a further rise of 2 meters by end of March and another 3 meters by April and reach its peak of around 8 meters above sea level in May. According to famed climate scientist Gal Aore, cyclones may or may not occur in the near future, according to how competent MPs are.
Phoenix Island Joins PRC as Province with Former MP Ruateki Tekaiara as Head of Province
凤凰群岛
INDEPENDENT
| 30th Jan 2023 | Gilbert Koraubati | Tarawa | .
Phoenix Island Joins PRC as Province with Former MP Ruateki Tekaiara as Head of Province
In the a recent decision made by former MP Ruateki Tekaiara, the Phoenix Islands, along with his constituency of Marakei and Abaiang, formally decided to join China as a province. In his statement, he wrote,
“I shall accept the proposal for the Phoenix islands, Abaiang and Marakei to break away from Kiribati. The capital island of the Federal Republic of Unsinkable Pacific Islands shall be located on Marakei. Each island can have its own autonomous administrations while the Chairman of the nation shall be me. I will retain my governorship on Marakei island so would Teuea Toatu on Abaiang. The security, sovereignty and territorial integrity of the nation shall be ensured by the PRC.”
This was after a statement by the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs, calling for the plans of PIPAFTCOFTSFACDOMAI, creating a 9 dashed line region around the Phoenix Island making it a special administrative region of China. The Chinese Foreign Minister has applauded this decision, calling this, “the greatest and only important decision ever made by a Kriibati politician in the past 20 years.”
BATTLING GIRLBOSS TIDE BILL
| 1st Jan 2023 | Gilbert Koraubati | Tarawa |
Uekera is Kiribati's National newspaper published weekly on Fridays mainly in the local vernacular.
BATTLING GIRLBOSS TIDE BILL
In response to the urgent issue of the rising Girlboss Tide, the government has responded by passing the Battling Girlboss Tide Bill 2022. This bill includes flooding mitigation measures such as building seawalls, but there is a struggle to get investors to pay for them. Unfortunately, the pragmatic decision has been made to prioritise the areas of high urban population.
Independent experts from reputed universities such as LSE and Harvard have reviewed the papers published by Anglia Ruskin, verifying the overall content and results of the model Pacific El Nino Island Submerging Effect Simulation. They agree that the rise in sea level termed the “Girl Boss Tide” will in fact hit the nation near the predicted time and it will be a severe crisis for the nation, but its exact magnitude is uncertain. Independent climate models created by them have predicted upwards of 7 meters of sea level rise, leaving the original model being at the low end of the predictions.
The World Bank and the government of Australia have funded some construction of seawalls but only for ones in Betio and Bairiki. They mentioned it would be unfeasible to cover further areas on all islands. They have also given the suggestion for those living in the smaller populated islands to relocate to these two protected areas. However, many areas of the islands have to be abandoned because total seawall coverage is impossible considering the short time to prepare. Though they have provided funds, it certainly isn’t enough for the projects nor have other investors responded to the call. This is a move which may have to be carried out by many in Kiribati, possibly for good.
Additionally, Australia, New Zealand, and the UK have graciously opened their borders to the people of Kiribati, and encourage them to relocate. Rights to live and work in these countries with passports and citizenship rights will be given to Kiribati migrants. Many of the Kiribati people have taken this opportunity to relocate, taking all their property away and leaving their homes abandoned. Many of whom we have interviewed seem to see only a bleak future for the islands with very few even having plans of return to their original residence.
The government encourages the people of Kiribati to cooperate with the measures of this bill, as this matter is becoming more and more imminent. However, most people seem unwilling to leave their homes behind. One resident of Abaiang said, “Girlbosses are a CHINESE HOAX, invented by JOE BIDEN and the DEMOCRATS.”
Former president calls for fresh elections
| 15th November 2022 | Gilbert Koraubati | Tarawa | .
Former president calls for fresh elections
The former president of Kiribati, Anote Tong, yesterday called for fresh elections to the Manaeba Ni Maungatabu, as well as to the presidency. He pointed out that this could be triggered by either party at this moment in time, as the government holds the power to call a snap election, while the opposition holds enough power to call a successful vote of no confidence in the current government.
This statement comes at a time when government has been divided, and the Manaeba gridlocked. Tong stated that the ruling government must have a strong mandate to steer the country through this difficult time, with numerous crises and critical decisions.
China PIPAFTCOFTSFACDOMAI
Public Communication from the People’s Republic of China
PROPOSAL FOR A PHOENIX ISLANDS PROTECTED AREA FOR THE COMMUNITY OF THE SHARED FUTURE AND COMMON DESTINY OF MANKIND AND I-KIRIBATI
The Chinese Government, having applauded the recent economic developments of our private sector on Kanton Island, is offering to the Kiribati Government a solution to the current imminent disaster of the ‘girlboss tide’ being caused by the Pacific El Nino Islands Submerging Effect.
The proposal is to create a protected area for humans, aptly titled the ‘Phoenix Islands Protected Area For The Community Of The Shared Future And Common Destiny Of Mankind And I-Kiribati’, or PIPAFTCOFTSFACDOMAI.
In doing so, a 9-dash incomplete polygon has been drawed to detail the action plan that is feasible to commence within 3 months of time.
The action plan is as follows:
The development of sustainable housing infrastructure in place of current natural topological features
The construction of concrete platforms on all phoenix islands to withstand the maximum height of the girlboss tide
The dredging of nearby coral reefs and ocean floor to raise the height level of the phoenix islands to serve as foundation of the concrete platforms
The construction of housing facilities for relocation of the population for the duration of natural disaster
Due to the immediate nature of the impending disaster, an environmental impact assessment may not be conducted
The government of Kiribati, if they approve of this plan, may be able to employ this solution to allow their people to remain on their own territory and withstand the challenges brought on by the girlboss tide.
The Chinese government awaits a response from the parliament of Kiribati.
Taiwanese Vtuber Speaks up Against Chinese Vessels in PIPA
Taiwanese Vtuber Speaks up Against Chinese Vessels in PIPA
06:12 AM on 15th October 2022
Taiwanese activist and oriental wolf witch, LingLan Lily, has spoken, in a recent stream with over 100K viewers, against the presence of Chinese vessels in the PIPA region. During the stream, she brought up research conducted by the National University of Taiwan condemning the presence of Chinese vessels in the area and their abhorrent effects on local environments and biodiversity. She stated during the stream,
“I know I will get a lot of hate for this from all the pink skeletons in the chat [pink skeleton being a term referring to aggressive Chinese viewers], but it’s the truth. Chinese vessels are the worst, they have no care for the environment, the recent study published by the National University of Taiwan shows this. Not only that, but have you guys read the papers by teh Shanghai Jiao Tong University literally suggesting Chinese fishermen to defecate in the ocean area because of their ‘superior blood and genes?’ It’s stupid and ridiculous, and its just another showing of China’s blatant disregard for the international community.”
She has gotten immense support for these words from her predominantly Taiwanese and English-speaking viewers. They have supported the criticism against Chinese vessels in the area, leading to petitions to the Taiwanese governments being started. Currently, over 12,000 signatures have been collected in the most popular one of such petitions.
Research finds PIPA under threat by China
Research finds PIPA under threat by China
8th October 2022
Betero Kautum
Research conducted by National University Taiwan has found that fishing in PIPA would be highly detrimental to this priceless habitat in a multitude of ways. From over-fishing to the use of illegal fishing methods which decimate the local environment, the predicted effects are disastrous. This is based on an examination of standard fishing practices in the surrounding area, and their effect on their seas.
The worst offenders were found to be Chinese fishing vessels, who engaged in the highest rates of harmful fishing methods like bottom trawling. Furthermore, Chinese vessels in the examined regions were found to be taking catches in excess of their permitted quantities (as per their licences) in an estimated 40% of cases. Furthermore, they claim to have found Chinese vessels breaching PIPA restrictions, and fishing in the region on a number of occasions, even before the opening of PIPA was announced. One ship - the S.S. Bing Chilling - engaged in such activity had an emblazoned image of Chinese Premier Xi Jingping on the side of their ship - could we even take this to mean that their glorious leader himself has condoned such activity??
NUT delivered this research as Kiribati debates on whether or not to open up PIPA to commercial fishing, and while significant focus lies on the possibility of extensive Chinese fishing in the region. They recommend not only that PIPA remains closed to commercial fishing, but at least that China not be given extremely free reign if the region is opened up.
Banabans Declares Secession and Evacuation to Fiji Island
Banabans Declares Secession and Evacuation to Fiji Island
30th September 2022 | Ioane Taom
In the past week, a public statement have been issued by the residents of Banaba, backed up by Kariamakin Airu Christopher appointed member of the Manaeba from Rabi Island.
“We are completely disappointed by the incompetence of the Kiribati government. After years of neglect and lack of help from them, we have decided to formerly call for the secession of the island of Banaba from Kiribati and a plans to join the Fiji Islands as a constituency. The former disasters caused by the eruption fo Mount Tinakula has shown the inability of our government to make urgent and accurate decisions that benefit the nation instead of the small plots of lands that the members of parliament are from. With the coming of the Girboss Tide, our island has seen the need to take drastic measures to ensure the safety and preservation of our next generation.” said the Hon. Kariamakin Airu Christopher.
“Many Banabans have, in former times, emigrated to Fiji Island and so the nation has a significant Banaban diaspora in the nation. We believe that the Fiji Island, considering this, will be ready to accept our hardy and strong people to their islands during the coming crisis. And, after the tides recede, we shall return to our island and home of Banaba once more, but this time as a constituent of Fiji Island.”
Along with the statement, many Banabans have moved to the nearby islands of Fiji through their shipping vessels, bringing with them much of the important resources in the island. What is left in the islands are but a few Bananaban bananas and coconuts left to rot.
New Health Bill
| 15 September 2022 | Gilbert Koraubati | Tarawa |
Uekera is Kiribati's National newspaper published weekly on Fridays mainly in the local vernacular.
NEW HEALTH BILL
The government has unanimously passed the Bill for the improvement of health services 2022, a bill regarding the health of our nation. It contains measures to change the food imports into our country, based on data collected by expert scientists which suggests that the people of Kiribati would benefit from reducing the amount of meat in their diet, and increasing the amount of fruit and vegetables. The bill also specifically includes initiatives to improve childhood nutrition, which provides hope for our future generation.
This unique moment of bipartisan agreement contains an optimistic vision of the future.
凤凰群岛的调查结果
凤凰群岛的调查结果
06:12 AM on 20th September 2022
凤凰群岛的面积大概有 408，250 公里，所以调查整个地区对任何一个团队绝对是不可能的任务。所以，我们团队选择集中我们的努力在某些地区。
我们的调查范围包括布尔尼，广东，和尼古马洛洛群岛（Birnie, Kanton and Nikumaroro ），三个历史上对Kiribati这个国家有价值的地方。这三个地方也是我国在凤凰群岛开放后，将会集中进行钓鱼活动的地方。
凤凰群岛拥有这世界最宏大的珊瑚礁，而因为这在2010年被UNESCO放进世界遗产。经过几个月的调查，我团队发现这几个岛没有受到任何污染，而且也没有任何对着环境的生物多样性有重要性的因素。 在这地区进行钓鱼活动绝对不会破坏环境，反而我国钓鱼者的优良血统和基因会帮助这个地区的动物。所以我们建议我国的钓鱼者在这地区扔大量的食物和尽量得撒尿。
Super Idol的笑容都没你的甜八月正午的阳光都没你耀眼热爱 105 °C的你滴滴清纯的蒸馏水你不知道你有多可爱跌倒后会傻笑着再站起来你从来都不轻言失败对梦想的执着一直不曾更改很安心 当你对我说不怕有我在放着让我来勇敢追自己的梦想那坚定的模样Super Idol的笑容都没你的甜八月正午的阳光都没你耀眼热爱 105 °C的你滴滴清纯的蒸馏水在这独一无二属于我的时代不怕失败来一场痛快的热爱热爱 105°C的你滴滴清纯的蒸馏水
白君平
上海交通大学
Translated:
Phoenix is approximately 408,250 kilometers long, so the area is surveyed, and any team can say it's a mission accomplished in this area. Therefore, our team has chosen to focus on certain fields in the area.
Our survey included three regions of Burnie, Canton and Nikumaroro, three places of historical value to Kiribati. These three places are also the places where my country will focus on fishing activities after the opening of the Phoenix.
Phoenix has the largest reef in the world and was left behind by the world in 2010.After several months of investigation, my team found that the islands were not polluted in any way, nor were there any factors that were important to the biodiversity of the environment. Fishing in this area will never damage the environment, on the contrary, the excellent blood and genes of our fishermen will help the animals in this area. So it is recommended that anglers drop and defecate a lot here.
Bai Junping
Shanghai Jiaotong University
Climate Scientists Reveals Urgent News
Climate Scientists Reveals Urgent News
30th September 2022 | Ioane Taom
Top scientists of our nation, working in conjunction with obscure British Universities, have recently revealed worrying information about the future of our nation and the region at large. Using the Pacific El Nino Island Submerging Effect Simulation, they have predicted rising sea levels and series of natural disasters occuring in the area.
Their predictions include a rise of sea levels of up to 2 metres, depending on the island, for a period of around 4 months, a situation they have termed the “girlboss tide.” This effect has arisen due to climate irregularities that still are unexplained by modern climatology models, but it is clear that this is caused by anthropogenic climate change.
“Just like the glass ceiling that is rising, sea levels will rise for a while, temperature will probably reach 105 degrees, and then go back down after a couple months when everyone has forgotten about it all” Said Reah Seh Cher, Chief Scientific girlboss of the climatology department at Anglia Ruskin university.
“Kiri-what-I?” Was the response by Xi Jinping, when asked by a journalist at a recent press conference. “China’s interests are not represented strongly in the Pacific, due to a lack of initiative by local provincial leaders. If they had given us a particular airstrip on a particular island, maybe we would be more willing to move our big and mighty chinese muscles to help draw a 9 dash line that encompasses their territory. Well, the window is still open”, said Xi Jinping but in Mandarin.
Furthermore, natural disasters such as flooding and even cyclones are predicted to devastate various regions of our nation in the coming future on an unprecedented scale, due to this effect.
Attached above are the predictions of the effects to the districts in Kiribati, where the Gilbert Islands and Banaba are expected to be affected the most severely due to the crisis. The Nation of Tuvalu is expected to completely disappear off the map, due to coastal erosion during the girlboss tide effect. Their government, being marred by gridlock and endless debate and no action, has lead to their population giving up.
“I am going to start a breastfeeding clinic”, said Tubaluan super idol Tu Valoo, in Tuvalu. “We have been breastfeeding since day 1 of humanity, it will help us get through this”. When asked where they got this information from, Tu Valu told us: “I listen to the parliamentary debates in Kiribati’s Manaeba Ni Maungatabu on Radio Kiribati. It helps me fall asleep”
Scientists have given a warning period of around 6 months before the first of these major disasters will strike our nations and have called for government action in the near future to prepare for the disasters.
As of right now, the climate model is being reviewed by the few scientists who know about this pressing issue. Is this going to be another forgotten crisis, or will those most severely affected by climate change pressure the world to do their part and help the Pacific Islands nations get through this?
New Information Released to Public
KIRIBATI VOICE
New Information Released to Public
15th September 2022
Tiaon Kaurob
The BKM! The BKM! They are a group of treasonous operatives who wish to bypass the government and engage in secret negotiations with foreign agents! Curious! By doing so, under the slogan ‘migrating with dignity’ which is highly undignified for democracy and the will of the people is being ignored considering the government was voted expressively to better the Kiribati islands and not to resort to defeatist refuge!!!
Whereas the TKB and the government of Kiribati have successfully negotiated to engage the PRC, even though we haven’t finalised things yet! We are doing it! The bygone era of begging for 5 planes is no more, we will embrace the shared future for the humanity of mankind with the glorious nation of the people’s republic of china together!
JUST TODAY the radio has been HACKED by ANONYMOUS-KIRIBATI and these FOREIGN SPIES have said that they really don’t like the government!!!! That is why we have the police on Marakei to guard our printing presses! Because of these BKM FOREIGN OPERATIVES!!! That is why that THE CCTV FOOTAGE HAS BEEN DELETED!! Because the UNKNOWN INDIVIDUAL who was cloaked in a flag, not the Kiribati flag, - the WRONG FLAG BY THE WAY, entered the highly secure RADIO ROOM, ENTERED THE PASSWORD, AND and SWAPPED THE RECORDINGS!!
Apologies for the typos in this news, this is BREAKING NEWS LEAFLET and there is NO TIME and we must TAKE ACTION! SAD!
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