BATTLING GIRLBOSS TIDE BILL

 

| 1st Jan 2023 | Gilbert Koraubati | Tarawa | 

Uekera is Kiribati's National newspaper published weekly on Fridays mainly in the local vernacular.

BATTLING GIRLBOSS TIDE BILL

In response to the urgent issue of the rising Girlboss Tide, the government has responded by passing the Battling Girlboss Tide Bill 2022. This bill includes flooding mitigation measures such as building seawalls, but there is a struggle to get investors to pay for them. Unfortunately, the pragmatic decision has been made to prioritise the areas of high urban population. 

Independent experts from reputed universities such as LSE and Harvard have reviewed the papers published by Anglia Ruskin, verifying the overall content and results of the model Pacific El Nino Island Submerging Effect Simulation. They agree that the rise in sea level termed the “Girl Boss Tide” will in fact hit the nation near the predicted time and it will be a severe crisis for the nation, but its exact magnitude is uncertain. Independent climate models created by them have predicted upwards of 7 meters of sea level rise, leaving the original model being at the low end of the predictions. 

The World Bank and the government of Australia have funded some construction of seawalls but only for ones in Betio and Bairiki. They mentioned it would be unfeasible to cover further areas on all islands. They have also given the suggestion for those living in the smaller populated islands to relocate to these two protected areas. However, many areas of the islands have to be abandoned because total seawall coverage is impossible considering the short time to prepare. Though they have provided funds, it certainly isn’t enough for the projects nor have other investors responded to the call. This is a move which may have to be carried out by many in Kiribati, possibly for good.

Additionally, Australia, New Zealand, and the UK have graciously opened their borders to the people of Kiribati, and encourage them to relocate. Rights to live and work in these countries with passports and citizenship rights will be given to Kiribati migrants. Many of the Kiribati people have taken this opportunity to relocate, taking all their property away and leaving their homes abandoned. Many of whom we have interviewed seem to see only a bleak future for the islands with very few even having plans of return to their original residence. 

The government encourages the people of Kiribati to cooperate with the measures of this bill, as this matter is becoming more and more imminent. However, most people seem unwilling to leave their homes behind. One resident of Abaiang said, “Girlbosses are a CHINESE HOAX, invented by JOE BIDEN and the DEMOCRATS.”